I wonder - do other foster carers get grumpy? Do they yell at their children and send them to bed early because they are so over listening to all the fighting and scrabbling? Do they get so tired from a long day of giving out they just want to curl into a ball and cry? How do they cope when the kids are fighting over who is going to juice the tangelos for dinner, then what glasses they will use and who gets whats left over and you are standing at the sink dog tired chopping veges for dinner thinking about a family you know in crisis -again? Or outside in a sudden downpour gathering salad vegetables wondering if that same family are eating tonight and a child pops his head around the garage door and asks you to help him make an origami paper cup - for the third time in five minutes? Or you discover that same child has been putting a weeks worth of boxes on at once and taking off the top layer each day? Hopefully not like me or we'd all be struck off the registrar and the'd be no carers left!
For the most part the house is silent now. I can hear the rain falling through broken guttering outside the front door and a story tape being played in the bedroom upstairs but other than that nothing. I have asked my childrens' forgiveness for my bad attitude toward them and God for help. I've been reminded that its HIS job to calm the storms, heal the sick and raise the dead. Its mine to reach out, touch the hem of his cloak and believe. I don't have to do it all or be it all to these children or the family I'm worried about. I can't even heal myself of what ails me. What makes me think anything I do will heal them. Silly me! I have to wonder about myself at times.
